louloupink

Must carry on

Posted on January 9, 2010 by louloupink

I read this really great blog post today about trying not to let the negative things that happened in the past affect your present. The post really could not have come on a better day for me. Or shall I say could not have come at a more convenient time when I was feeling pretty crappy about some of the decisions I had made within the last day.

I have not talked much about the animal rescue work I do for a few reasons. First, it tends to take over. When I start to write about it, it becomes addictive and I forget about the rest of my life, so instead I started to write a book about my adventures in pet rescue. I also wanted to make myself more vulnerable by sharing more than just rescue with you through this blog.

Anyway, I just had a really shitty day in the rescue arena. One of the dogs we rescued last week got away from her new foster. I feel like it was my fault because I should have advised the woman better on how to transport this sweet dog. I should have been more thorough in the foster interview process. I should have done a lot of things that I did not do.

We put so much time, love, effort, life into caring for and rescuing and thinking about these dogs that when one does not go well it is heartbreaking. Unfortunately, this particular dog just had surgery, was treated for heartworm and is out in the cold in an unknown area on the two coldest nights of the year. She is feral, so there is really no chance of us finding her again. I cannot shake the fact that had I made better decisions, this dog could be safe and in a warm home.

These types of incidents make me want to stop doing rescue, they make me want to eradicate the heartache that rescue work sometimes brings. I keep telling myself that I need to stop pondering on the negative. There is only so much I can control and if I let the negatives affect all of the positive that can be done in the future, well things just won’t get done that way.

I suppose the only way things can change and the world can be a better place is for people to stop looking over their shoulders at the decisions that they regret, not hole yourself up in a box ignoring the things that may bring you heartache, but allowing yourself to work through them and move on to continue to do the work that really does bring more joy than heartache. Not to mention that it is not heartache for the thousands of other dogs that we have rescued and will rescue in the future.

I am a hormonal crying mess that can’t stop blubbering about this poor dog and I wish the stupid fucking weather woman would stop telling me how fucking cold it is going to be tonight. It’s like rubbing salt in my wound.