One More Cookie Before I Go: A Tale of Split Families at Holiday Times

Posted on December 28, 2009 by louloupink

Cookie Counter (Today, 9:09 a.m.):  3 (Today, 12:45 p.m.):  4 (Today, 8:07 p.m.):  5

And to make it funnier/more pathetic, we ran out of gifted cookies yesterday, so I made the “Worlds Best” jar of cookies that we received as a present. The world would end without Christmas cookies right now and until the end of this pregnancy. No, really New Year’s resolution: exercise and eat less Christmas cookies and prepare for labor & delivery. Looks like I have 29 more cookies to eat before the week’s up. No problemo.

7months

Here I am, Christmas time, the seven month stretch. My ma is taking bets that those pants will not fit ’til the very end. I beg to differ, especially with my New Year’s resolution coming into place, since I have such will power these days…not.

Today’s blog post is brought to you by this song by Bob Dylan. Please feel free to play the song while you read the post.

I was thinking about doing a post on split families around the holidays. How hard it can be for everyone. As I type, I am trying to decide if the animosity I have built up might be able to be hidden or tidied up a bit. I could just make it short and sweet and say to all who “suffer” from split family syndrome around the holidays to move on and enjoy the time that you get with your loved ones. As little as it may be, or unfair as it may seem, we as the hostages of this over-traveled time of the year put on our snow boots, and show up with a smile, to all of the family gatherings. Are these family gatherings fun for us? Yes, for the most part.

Quite honestly, the fun is ruined and feelings are hurt when we have to leave early. When one side has to cut the other side short to go see the other side of the family. And comments are made about equality and sharing and fairness.

Bite your tongues because we already feel bad enough.

I realize that we all love one another so much that we want to have our brother, our sister, our son, our daughter around for as long as we can, but you have to let it go. It only makes it harder and worse and makes us resent situations more when loved ones complain about the time they get to spend with us.

Honestly, we do our best to make it fair and even. Things change when folks get married (+1 family, +2 if spouse is from a divorced family). Things change when parents divorce. We as the children of the divorcees do what we can to make the transition as easy on everyone as possible, but we need help and understanding from all angles.

So, I leave you with a cup of coffee. I am so sorry if you do not have a table for a belly belly for a table, like mine. Leave me alone, it’s decaf.

But really, how do you handle your holidays? How is it hard for you and how have you made it work? How have you gotten troubled family members to understand the predicament you are in around the holidays?

table

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Comments (6)

 

  1. Steve says:
    12/28/2009 at 3:26 pm

    FIRST!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciG-Xs7mBwU

  2. Annie O says:
    12/28/2009 at 6:57 pm

    Good topic, Amie! We have survived by either inviting all to come to our house (a bit more stressful in preparation, but generally more fun over all) OR splitting the holidays (thanksgiving with one & xmas with the other & then switch the next year). Of course the best of intentions such as these do not always work out & so we had 3 thanksgivings and 2.5 Christmases this year. I think the best advice is to learn to let it go and be the duck. You can try to make everyone happy but it seldom works & will get MUCH harder with Matilda. So, make a choice and let the criticisms roll off your back like water off the duck. BTW – LOVE this song…it’s on my iPod.

  3. Aunt Becky says:
    12/28/2009 at 9:10 pm

    You look WAY too cute to be that pregnant, dude. And, *sighs* families *sighs* *sighs* *sighs*

    We roll with it, baby.

  4. admin says:
    12/28/2009 at 9:32 pm

    can i tell YOU Aunt Becky, that I waddled a little bit when you said that, because I totally waddled.

  5. ken says:
    12/29/2009 at 9:49 am

    well, one good thing that’s happened since crissy and i have had kids is that everyone has to come to OUR house.

    yes, there’s a bit of preparation and cleanup involved, but schlepping kids around to MULTIPLE stops is a lot harder.

    the rule is everybody who can get along is invited. if you can’t act like an adult then you have to leave.

    since my brother in law and my father in law can’t get along, the father in law comes over for christmas breakfast. it’s usually delicious.

    things work out. the kid(s) will bring people together.

  6. snavin says:
    12/29/2009 at 11:41 am

    We don’t have to deal with as many different houses as you but luckily our families plan around each other. My mom waits to see when/what Kevin family plans and Kevin’s family always make sure there times coordinate with ours. The only conflict Holiday is Thanksgiving which now we usually host. Hopefully you can get things worked out next year so you can actually enjoy Matilda’s first Christmas! Good luck!!!